SPITTOONIA ON THE ERIE

DEMOS

Performed by Ricky Todd Adams

Performed by Ricky Todd Adams

Performed by Jenn Gambatese

SYNOPSIS

It’s bedtime, and newly-adolescent Molly is insisting that, if her dad wants to tell her a story, he needs to stick to an authorized, published fairytale, like “Cinderella”, rather than this improvised nonsense he usually comes up with.  But when Dad explains that he actually knows the original American version of the Cinderella story, Molly is curious, and cautiously lets him begin his tale.

The story’s heroine is named Spittoonia. (“No, it makes total sense!” insists Dad when Molly objects. “Cinderella was named for the cinders she had to sweep. What do you think the American Cinderella would have to clean?”) She lived in Ashenpuddle, New York, on the banks of the newly completed Erie Canal. Like her European counterpart, Spittoonia lived with a pair of stepsisters (who were also suffragists, vegetarians, teetotalers, spiritualists and just basically made everyone around them feel inferior). When they would demand she perform chores around the house, like rendering the lard and delousing the silverware, she would instead sit by the canal and weep dramatically. Until, of course, the day the canal spoke back, promising to bring Governor Dewitt Clinton’s party barge to Ashenpuddle, if that would just stop Spittoonia from salting up her water with all those tears for a few minutes.

And so begins a hilarious romp that even wins over Molly in the end (though she would never admit it). In her quest to find love and avoid work, Spittoonia crosses paths with enchanted muskrats, a cheese boat, the ghost of George Washington, an overly effective séance, questionable medical advice, the Mattress King, and a passive aggressive maid who is sure that she is the true heroine of the story.